Time is one of my worst enemies. Normally, I get up early in the morning and immediately start tidying up or getting ready for work or both. This is followed by alternate begging and threatening: Could you please hurry up? Have you peed? Get dressed. No, no, panties first, then the trousers… You’ve put on two different socks… I’m turning off the TV if you don’t hurry up… Please, comb your hair… Don’t make me do it…
What comes next is the usual madness of a work day or the positive madness of a normal weekend.
And there’s never enough time.
Finally, the day has come. I’ve decided to invite a friend with her child to our house.
I plucked up the courage to do it.
Because I must admit my home is a mess.
People normally keep at least the living room tidy, just in case unexpected guests show at the door. In our case, it isn’t so, at least not right now. Because what you can find in our living room is the following:
The ironing board.
The washing waiting patiently in the basket, probably thinking: better late than never!
My daughter’s toys. Leaving them in the living room was how she interpreted my command “move the toys out of the hall”.
Jackets which could not be stored elsewhere. (Yes, even the winter jackets, so what?)
Christmas tree decorations which couldn’t find their way to the closet for some unfathomable reason, so they now lie in wait, hoping to snatch the first opportunity to shine.
Half a cup of yoghurt (oh, there it is! I looked for it everywhere!).
Sliced apple on a plastic plate, on the floor, behind the armchair (yeah, mom, I’ve eaten everything)
The ironing board is obviously there, but I can’t remember where I’ve put the iron…
It doesn’t matter, we’ll sit on the balcony. But, first I have to:
Move the bike and the scooter (but where?);
Take out the garbage (the balcony is where it’s normally deposited, when the dustbin is full);
Collect the dry clothes (and add them to the pile in the living room)
Luckily, there’s a dining room to make a relaxed atmosphere, where the two of us could sit together. But, where can I put two cups of coffee and sandwiches? You think it’s simple? The table is covered with my daughter’s drawings, her master-pieces. She gets very angry if I touch them, let alone move them.
And I definitely can’t allow my guest to peek into my kitchen:
The sink is full of dishes.
I can’t remember the last time I cleaned the oven.
Ok, at least the floor is clean.
What if my guest wants to wash her hands?
The bathroom is presentable, with the exception of the wash basin, artistically splashed with body lotion (but, mom, I just wanted my hands to be soft and beautiful). The liquid soap is breathing its last (but, mom, I just wanted my hands to be clean) and the bath tub is full of headless Lalaloopsy dolls (but, mom, you said I could wash them too).
My daughter’s room I won’t even dare describe.
Yes, time is my nemesis. I simply can’t cope.
And yet, I thought it was a good idea to invite people to our home. I guess the state of emergency is a normal occurrence in all homes with children. We regularly step on things, collect them and remove them – it’s our reality. Whoever claims they can do better – I dare them to prove it!