Monthly Archives

May 2016

The cost of the first visit to the dentist 😁

May 26, 2016

Well, yeah, my 4-and-a-half-year-old daughter had a cavity! Already… regardless of how fussy I am about the oral hygiene, and how much I insist on her not having too many sweets. And there, it happened, despite all the apples she’s had instead of chocolate, and all the water she’s drunk instead of juice…  So off we went to fix her first tooth.

How should you prepare for the first dental visit? Well, I recommend going with other children, from the kindergarten maybe. Kids have a better chance of having that first experience at the dentist’s office mixed with laughter and playing if they make a group visit. They’ll be curious about the chair and the instruments, and won’t be scared if they think it’s all just for fun. Going to the dentist’s to fix teeth is an entirely different thing.

For several days, my daughter had complained about the toothache and showed me her teeth, so I decided to check what’s going on. I must say I wasn’t convinced. You know how kids are: my elbow hurts, my nail is sore, oh, this headache just won’t go away… The first time I mentioned my backache, she walked bent over for days and did a splendid job impersonating me.

Although in reality the quality of the teeth is about more than just keeping them clean, I have to admit that I felt this was a defeat of my own healthy habits…

In spite of my projecting outward optimism, cheering her up and saying that she’s the bravest girl I know and has no reason to fear the dentist, after the initial euphoria and getting tired with inspecting her teeth with the dentist’s mirror, of course, my daughter started crying and tried to get off the chair.

And that, my friends, is the time when you should try out all your pre-developed strategies. With kids, it’s the matter of tactics, personal attitude and example…

How much did this first trip to the dentist’s cost me? The price of the tooth filling for kids is insignificant. What cost a lot more was the long-desired “Lucy the Dog” toy, a battery-operated felt canine my daughter asked from Santa Claus before the New Year’s Eve. She didn’t get it then because I despise that kind of toys. But a serious crisis calls for serious measures. Having been promised the toy, she obediently got back on the chair, opened her mouth wide and patiently waited for the intervention to end.

And so… our flat is getting filled with senseless toys and we’ve got through the first cavity and dental visit. My daughter, me – and Lucy the Dog.




In Another Lifetime

May 17, 2016

People can get used to anything, as you know. Our ability to adapt is simply stunning. You may think: “I’d never be able to do this” or “No way I could resign myself to living like that, I couldn’t and I won’t”…

One day I woke up and remembered the things I used to do, before I became a mother, such as:

  • Going out, partying: a dinner in a fancy restaurant, going to a trendy night club, a romantic walk by the river just before dawn…
  • Boyfriends: courting, sweet ambiguous messages, going out, travelling, madness of falling in love, dramatic breakups.
  • Lying around: You know, when you spend the whole day doing absolutely nothing. You listen to your favourite radio station, watch TV series, try out beauty products or drink coffee with your friends.
  • Food: I used to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Healthy food? What’s that?
  • Making myself look pretty: well, yeah… I used to be one of those girls who wear makeup to the shops. You never know.

… but, when I think about it a little better:

I’ve never been one of those girls who dance all night and go back home in the morning. But – I could do that! Only if I wanted…  🎶 🎉

OK, I admit, my love life was not the kind that anyone would write romantic fiction about. I’ve had a few long relationships, passing flings, nothing special. But – only if I wanted… 😉

You know me well by now: I’ve never been one of those people who like to waste time. The last time I lied around was in high-school, I think. And I’m not very fond of cakes either.

I like fruit. I love salads. I avoid fast food…

… Maybe I’ve glorified my past life too much.

But, you know what? It’s all gone. It was nice and I have no regrets. There will surely be more nights out, flirting, relaxing. Until then, I enjoy the present: there is nothing better than a wonderful creature looking at you with loving eyes and saying: “You’re the best mom for all eternity and I’ve always wanted to have one just like you!” 💕💕💕

How do I act in stressful situations?

May 5, 2016

Lately, I’ve been visiting potential employers and having job interviews. I must say I don’t enjoy it too much. Trends change and the questions asked are periodically updated. Still, whether you’re looking for work in a multinational corporation or in an NGO, there is always a clever HR person who simply always needs to ask the same questions.

What motivated you to apply for this position at our company? (What kind of a question is that, for heaven’s sake? Well, a reasonable degree of security and a prospect of a good salary!) The desirable answer: I’m truly dedicated to accomplishing the company’s goals and I believe I’ll have a great working environment, new challenges and a possibility to make progress. The HR person hurries to jot it down.

How do you act in stressful situations? (My dear, I erased that adjective from my vocabulary a long time ago. I’ve suffered and survived a life with an unfaithful lying bastard; I’ve lived through the Big Daddy’s (that’s the moniker I gave him) love affairs which resulted in his having two more children with two different women.  I’ve survived losing a fantastic job, I landed on my feet and turned a new leaf. What kind of stress are we talking about?) My answer: I don’t think there is such a thing as stress: there are only more or less difficult situations which need to be resolved in the best possible way. Judging by the expression on the HR person’s face, I nailed it!

And still, sometimes I just have to ask myself if I’ve really forgotten and overcome all the stress I’ve had these last couple of years. My child is healthy, intelligent and happy. It hasn’t been easy, but life goes on and the difficulties we manage to surmount make us stronger.

What lies ahead, however, will not be easy. Sooner or later, I’ll have to explain to my 4-and-a-half-year-old daughter that she has a step-sister who is only two months her senior and a step-brother who is a year younger than them. The shrinks say: leave it to the father. Or: make it sound like a natural course of events and don’t forget to repeat that mom and dad are not married. They like each other very much and love you, but they’ve decided that this is for the best.

Sounds nice, but I really have no idea how to make her understand this life’s conundrum or how to actually say things I don’t believe in at all.